Gym Peeves

Here is a list of things that really irritate me at the gym. Not in any partivular order...

• The guys who carry the gallon jug of water around. Are they really sweating that much?
• The guys who fill their water jugs at the water fountain while people wait behind them. Thanks for the warm water!
• The guy who hogs a machine and looks like he has never worked out in his life. Get off the machine already!
• The guys who basically have no females in their lives so the hang out at the gym and scope chicks. Isn't that what nightclubs are for?
• The people who workout in jeans. What is this? If you look like Arnold in his prime, wear whatever you like. This is not the case at my gym The new Gold's in Newport News. Get some workout apparel, please!
• The guys who wear baseball caps backwards. I heard Boortz say one time that the was a sure sign of a low IQ. I think there is some truth in that.

There are more, but these are the ones that having bugging lately. It feels good to get it off my chest.

Warning: Use of this equipment may result in death!

I've worked out for years and I think I've tried just about everything as far as exerecise goes. I have recently been focusing on my cardiovascular health. Hence I've been adding more aerobic stuff to my workouts. I've done treadmills, elipticals, rowing, various stationary bikes, etc. The other day I encountered the toughest piece of equoment by far: StairMaster® StepMill® 7000PT. I'm telling I almost died more than once during 20 minutes on this thing. This isn't like other stairclimbers that allow you to just step up & down with your feet on the same two steps. NO, THIS THING IS A ROLLING STAIRCASE. Think of walking up the downward escalator (is that an oxymoron?) at Sears. You can't scam or cheat on this machine, because if you do...you will fall to the floor. I was thinking maybe this could be used for death penalty purposes. Put the convict on one these at level 20 with the machine positioned at the edge of the Empire State Building. It's either have a heart attack and fall 86 floors to your death or simply run out of gas and take the 1050 ft. plunge...

RESPECT Yourself!

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.? Aretha what happened? I heard Jim Rome read an email from a listener the other day who asked about the national anthem rendition at the SuperBowl performed by Aaron Neville & American Idol Ruben Studdard! It went from there with a dozen hilarious emails: How many animals were killed to make Aretha's fur coat? Uh...a million! How did they get her in the stadium? They built it around her! I almost wrecked my car as I listened and laughed. Also, was it just me or was that the worst rendition of the anthem that you have ever heard?

Carolina Blues

I went to Roanoke Bible College, a very small school in North Carolina. As a Virginian and loyal Cavaliers fan, I was completely unprepared for the overt loyalty to UNC that was so prevalent. I grew sick of "Carolina Blue" and hearing how it was alledgedly God's favorite color because he painted the sky that way. Every pick-up game had several "wannabes" sporting their UNC #23/Jordan jerseys. My anti-UNC bias was cemented. Nowadays UVa is down, but it is nice to know Duke is still around to pummel the "heels." I wish J.J. Redick would have stayed home in Virginia since he is from Roanoke, Va. but I am especially glad he didn't go to UNC.

Hodge Podge

Okay, I've finally entered the world of blogging. I have been inspired by my good buddy and favorite blogger, Mike Kjergaard and his Soren's Blog. I've been dragging my feet, but today is the day. I thought I'd begin with a post in honor of my Aunt Janet Hodge who recently died. Here last name is my middle name: HODGE. Imagine having the middle name Hodge. As a child I was traumatized whenever the question of middle names came up. It would go something like this... My middle name is Steve... or John... or Greg... and then... My middle name is Hodge. HODGE?! Yes Hodge. Hodge like hodge podge? Like hodgey sheik? Yeah, Hodge. I used to hide behind the letter "h" and let people try to guess it. They would come with Harold, Herman, Harvey, Haywood, etc. (btw, are there any good "H" names?) No one would ever get Hodge, so that became my way of escaping the humiliation. Well, now I like Hodge. I even sign my name with "H" right there in the middle where it belongs. Why the change? My Mom (maiden name: Hodge) had all sisters and one brother. The brother, Rufus (imagine that: Rufus Hodge!) had all daughters. Hence all of the females married and acquired new last names. Janet remained single. She was the last Hodge in my lineage. My Dad forseeing this scenaio insisted I be named David Hodge Willis. Otherwise, I would have been William David Willis. Not bad, but I like mine better. Unfortunately, I didn't pass it on to my children... I just couldn't do it. So that's it - I'm the last of my line of Hodges. That's my Hodge Podge and my first blog.